Sorry for the laps of blogs

Since the week before Christmas my little family has been on the go and I feel like finally this week we finally have time to breath again.

With all the holiday parties, then New Years and this past weekend was followed up by my sister's first baby shower, we have been nothing but running and doing and seeing and crashing at night.

So now we have a good 4 or 5 weeks until Valentine's Day and the greatest Husband's birthday in February to recuperate.

Unfortunately I don't actually get that long of a break since I stay at home with C, my job is never ending and with the semester almost starting next week I have a lot of things that I would like to accomplish before that begins.

So here is a little list that I'm going to try to hold my self accountable for to finish before school starts next Tuesday.

1. Get the house totally clean (includes: dusting, windows,)

2. Get books for classes and start reviewing

3. Go through our dressers and closets and get rid of things we don't wear or that are ruined

4. Clean car out and wash it

5. Make a meal list for the following few weeks

6. Decide on an invitation for my sister's family shower

So hopefully I will be able to cross all of those things off my next Monday.

However, here is some of the cool images I captured on my new camera from the past weekends.

We truly live in a beautiful area, even when it's freezing and covered in ice and snow.

I will hopefully get back to a regular blogging schedule now that things have calmed down.

Hope everyone enjoyed their holidays and are looking forward to a joyful and blessed 2011.

What a wonderful Christmas...

I know I left you all hanging but I was just so excited about my major Christmas gift and I will get to that later but, this was taken on Christmas Eve and it's one of my favorite pictures.

Oh this just makes me melt.

I'm also really loving my trim painting white it's looks so crisp and clean.

Doesn't she look adorable, I figured I would get some wear out of this shirt dress before it wouldn't fit anymore and I think it looks great.

This was C's "Santa" gift and even though it took several hours to put together it looks great and she loved it. In fact she has been playing with it everyday since Christmas and we have yet to move it into her room yet.

She also was a little surprised when she realized that Santa had come and ate the cookies she left out for him.

She just kept saying "Santa ate my cookies, did he like them?"

No for my fantastic Christmas gift from my loving hubby.

Oh yeah one of the best cameras ever! He kept it a secret and everything until the day before Christmas Eve when he just wanted me to open it. I'm glad I did since I got some great pictures during Christmas Eve. I'm so thankful for him, I never would have bought this for myself and never dreamed in a million years that he would get such an elaborate gift.

I love that man.

Hope you all had a terrific Christmas, I think 2011 is going to be a great with lots of new things happening.

How good was your day?

Mine was fantastic!

And for right now that is all I have to say.

Wont be posting until after Christmas so hoping all you have wonderful holiday with friends and family.

L-

Tory

Letters C

 Dear Cecelia-
 I was only going these pictures of our weekend and I couldn't help but be blown away by your beauty. Not just your physical beauty but by the love you show your father and I on a daily basis. You share with us your love that is never ending and full of affection. I honestly, couldn't imagine how life would be without you by our sides.
You have given us more hope and joy than anything we have ever had in our lives. There is so much going on in our lives and sometimes we have our days when we are short tempered and forgetful of your needs but you still run around with a smile on your face and love in your heart that sometimes puts me on my knees with astonishment and overcomes my heart with love.
For a little over 2 years now you have been physically apart of our lives but it's been longer  that you have been loved by us before you were even born, before you were even created. You have given us so much to be grateful for and you blew our expectations out of the water when you joined our family.

 Everyday you grow and learn something and it brings the brightest smile to my face. You father is amazed at how smart you are and how much you remind him of himself when he was younger. You have brought out some of the best parts of your father. I have watched him grow from a new husband to a provider to a father with the most protective soul.
We love you sweet babe! Even though sometime down the road our family dynamic is going to change and maybe new members will be added, you will always be our C, our first born, our answer to so many prayers.
Love-
Mama



A Thanksgiving Feast!

I think this was our best Thanksgiving yet!

It seemed to go really smoothly and that is hard to come by since we had C.

Starting with my view of Thanksgiving morning.

I was up early baking and preparing for the days events, while my loves were sound asleep.

It actually was one of my favorite parts of the day simply because they were tucked in bed, the house was quiet, yummy smells were floating through the house and it gave me that little bit of peace I needed before the busy day.

Once C and Nate woke up we were off to his Mom and Dad's for a Thanksgiving breakfast and to watch the parade. It was C's first time even noticing the parade and she especially loved the Snoopy, Dora, Spongebob floats and the musical numbers.

We spent the entire morning hanging out in our pajamas chatting and watching the television, and some of us had some pretty cute pj's on.

By the time C's nap rolled around she was out for a good 2 hours, before we had to fully wake her up to get ready to head out the door.

However, that nap gave this Mama some time to finish up her baking and enjoy some pandora and solitaire, while Mr.Stanley played video games.

I think I had a pretty sweet set up in kitchen.

A little office nook is a must in our next house.

And the cookies were a big hit!

We had a big Thanksgiving dinner at my Aunt's house and enjoyed some delicious food, as always.

C with Aunt Kassie and baby Kadence in her belly!

I can't believe next year we will have a little baby to snuggle with during the holidays!

(the spread)

(my Dad working some magic on the ham)

It was pretty darn good!

After dinner and dessert we enjoyed some Wii bowling and the boys played about a million games of pool and finished off a bottle of whiskey.

I think everyone had a fabulous time and we didn't head home until well after 10:30pm.

There is a lot that we are thankful for this year, but we are definitely looking forward to the upcoming Christmas plans and what 2011 has in store for us.

As far as Black Friday went, Emina picked me up at midnight and we headed to the mall. When we got there is was like a madhouse full of crazies. It was Emina's first time going shopping on Black Friday and she mentioned several times it would be her last. It's not my cup of tea either, I was simply there for moral support.

So we took a few trips to the hot spots and watched all the people standing outside in the 19 degree weather to save $10.00. Needless to say we went, we saw, we went home and crawled into bed.

However the next day I hopped online and finished up C's "Santa" gifts and bought some for my soon to be here niece some little presents too.

Thanksgiving

Since we have a billion and one things to do in the next couple days, not to mention the late night shopping I'm taking part in on Friday, I'm jumping the gun and posting my Happy Thanksgiving message a few days early.

I hope everyone has a very thankful and blessed Thanksgiving.

Enjoy the food and hopefully you all get to see you family and friends this holiday weekend.

Just not up for it

Sorry I have been a little m.i.a but the above picture kind of reflects how I have been feeling lately, emotionally.

On Sunday the husband and I had a bit of an argument slash discussion about ttc baby #2. We have had a pretty good cycle this month, but we have been at this for so long for the second time and even though we haven't gotten a negative yet I don't feel like this is it for us either.

So Sunday I had just had enough I just started crying and becoming emotionally upset, and no there was no way it could be to pregnancy to soon.

Anyway, I basically blurted out "I think I'm done." I'm pretty sure it put my husband in a huge state of shock but I just had this overwhelming feeling like God has blessed us with such a fantastic child. C is so smart, beautiful, loving, energetic and completely the apple of our eye why not just enjoy the happiness and blessing God gave us? My husband basically said " I know you want more children, I know I want more children, so it will happen when it happens."

I couldn't believe he just said that to me, knowing how I feel about that comment and ttc, it just makes me angry.

I'm sure he might have been angry, actually I know he was angry because he got up and left the room. My darling husband and I don't fight very often, we more bicker about silly things like taking out the trash and reminding him to brush his teeth type of bickering, so I of course burst into a mess of tears and started to really start thinking about what just came out of my mouth.

I think I might have decided that this will be a better decision for me. That doesn't mean it's the best decision for my husband or our only daughter. One of my biggest fears was not being able to give C someone to lean on after we are gone,  permanent best friend. I don't know, even typing that out seems stupid.

I love those two more than myself and everything on earth but what will help me be happy so that I can be a supportive wife and a great mother.

I need to do a lot more thinking about this and figure out what needs to happen and when I need to draw the line to stop ttc and be happy with the life I have. Which is a great life.

So I have a lot of thinking to do and a lot more discussing with my husband.

However this girl always makes me smile and look forward to another day.

How can she not look at the darling girl.

She is such a big girl and I love everything about her.

Also I saw this on a blog I love to check in on and for the life of me can't remember who's it was so sorry for no source, but I'm thinking I might try to recreate these festive Christmas balls, that have sheets of Christmas stories and holiday songs.

I'm thinking they will look pretty awesome hanging from my mantel.

Such a cute idea.

Some family time

(Nate, Me,MIL, C, FIL, Uncle Dusty, Uncle Trevor)

So a few weeks ago we had my husband's family and us get our pictures taken.

It was a pretty dreary day, but they still turned out great and we just got them back this weekend.

I told my husband this was one of my favorite picture.

He sweetly said "Why, what is it of?"

Oh darling it's all three of our hands.

Oh husbands.

C, I'm almost certain is aware of how darn irresistible she is.

This is one of my favorite, can you guess why?

Notice how everyone is paying attention to the photographer?

See what the mister and I are doing?

Paying attention to each other.

Aww how I love him.

Of course the following week I chopped 10in of my hair, but I'm glad I got the length documented.

Me and the Mister.

As for the rest of the weekend that we have been having, it has actually been really relaxing. Friday C, Mr.Stanley and I hung out laid around, swung by his parents. Saturday we did the same thing, except I headed out at night to spend some time with some of my favorite lady and lots of laughs were made, and many memories were brought up. Always great time.

And as of today, now C is tucked in tight asleep in her bed. Mr.Stanley is playing games on the computer and chit chatting with me. While I'm curled up on the couch catching up with emails, working on some homework.

And of course we have been acting on that simple little smiley face we received on our special little test earlier this week. Might as well cover all our bases (tmi?oh well).

Hope everyone has a good start to their week tomorrow.

Somedays can be a little heartbreaking

One of the sweetest things my husband has every said to me was after C was born. We were both alone in our delivery room packing to leave with our brand new daughter. As we were packing up in silence he turned to me out of no where and said "Thank you." I looked up and said "For what Babe?" He chuckled a bit as if it was so obvious why he was thanking me. He said "For how great you did, for bringing us a healthy and beautiful daughter, for giving me a great gift."

I was absolutely shocked. Not because my husband isn't ever appreciative or full of love, but he just isn't ever so well spoken. All I could do was mumble a silly "ummm well yeah your welcome hun."

My husband has the most natural grace when it comes to handling C.

She is beautiful and always has been in our eyes.

So some days when I remember that wonderful thing my husband said to me back in our hospital room, it breaks my heart because I so desperately want to give him the great gift again.

I completely understand that this is both something we give to each other, I obviously can't do it alone and wouldn't want to, but I so badly want that feeling and moment again with him.



The Bump

So I joined The Bump today after a week or so of debate within my mind. You will notice that I do that a lot, debate with myself.

Anyway, I made my little introduction and was overwhelmed with how many well wishes and good luck wishes I got from over 20 ladies I had never even met before. It was a lovely feeling to meet with others who are going through exactly what I am and don't mind putting it out there.

It's not that I don't like to be open with my family and friends, but to be honest I don't like to burden them with things that they can't control. Not to mention a subject such as infertility or ttc is not something you want to bring down those you love on a regular basis.

I needed an outlet, I needed someone to relate to, I need someone who would say "Yes, I have had that same thing happen to me." Now I do, I have many and I feel like my stress of keeping my feelings and silly thinking about all this ttc has gone down a bit.

It keeps me looking up so that one day I can make that jump from the ttc board to the 1st trimester board.

So if you are in the same boat as me and adore your family and friends so much  you don't want them to be concerned about what's going on in the baby making department or don't want to have them asking all the time, make your way over to The Bump.com and check out the community boards there is something there for everyone.

And for your viewing pleasure a little bit of C with her Daddy.

I can't believe these were taken almost 1 year ago.

Yes, Mr.Stanley can look like a grizzly  man during the winter months, do to the fact that he believes his beard truly keeps him warmer during the winter. My thoughts on his beard..."silliest thing ever babe."

Ok...here it goes!

It has taken me 2 weeks to decide to finally put my first post on this blog. I'm not sure if it's because then it will make our situation more real or if that means so many people will know about our situation. After a lot of discussions with my husband and a whole lot of debating within my own mind I have finally decided to finally bite the built and put this journey with hopefully a successful ending down.

So to start things off, this isn't our first go around with trying to conceive, luckily we did have a success the last time after 15 months and we were blessed with Cecelia better known as C. She was absolutely worth the wait and tough months that came with it.

Gorgeous I know!

So we have that going for us, which in a lot of people's minds should be enough. Well how could you forgo giving this sweet face a permanent best friend. Someone to go to after we pass, I just couldn't imagine her alone. Also Nathan and I know we just aren't done yet expanding our family.

Speaking of my darling husband he is my daughter's all time favorite person and why shouldn't he be? He absolutely adores her and would give her the moon if possible.

It's hard to not swoon over their love for one another, I know I do on a daily basis.

So that is a small back ground on this family. Which hopefully will be adding another member soon...later...whenever.

So enjoy, read along, and to get a better knowledge of us go the tabs and keep up.

L-

Tory