I might be the only one in this boat, but does anyone else have something that they just need to have around them when they are feeling down or conflicted?
When I was pregnant with C I came across this shop in Pella that sold these charming initial charms. Well since I didn't know for sure that we were naming her Cecelia I held off on buying one.
Until the following year when we were back up there, I bought the C and the Baby footprint.
I wore it basically everyday after I bought them, up until about her 1st birthday.
Along with it I would always wear my cross necklace, my Mom got for me one Christmas from Tiffany & CO. It was beautiful and it also looked more like a T then a cross but I loved it.
Mr. Stanley would always call this necklace my "dog tag" necklace since I was sporting for my daughter's sake.
Well after her 1st birthday I found myself not "needing" to wear them much, almost like I felt pretty content with how life was going and I didn't need that reminder that I was Cece's mom or that I needed to show my faith around my neck.
Up until about March of this year.
In April we had what is categorized as a chemical pregnancy. It means that we conceived but do to some problem the baby never implanted.
Usually chemical pregnancies are so soon in a woman's cycle they haven't even taken a test to see if they are pregnant or not.
Well since we were trying I was testing days before I should.
That month I found myself wearing my "mama dog tags" again.
Ever since then I catch myself searching for them when I'm feeling low or out of sorts.
I know it sounds weird that I want some necklaces to make me feel better, but they give me a little peace.
The dream charm was added as a Christmas gift from my Mom last year.
And the bird charm was added to the cross, after our chemical pregnancy, on the flip side of it has the word brave.
I love that little charm, because it's exactly what all woman have to be to enter into this crazy and very emotional ride called motherhood. Whether you are trying to become a mom, are a mom, or have been for years and years. You must be brave to face the daily challenges of what this journey brings to you and your life.
There is no guarantee that you will have tomorrow with you children, husband, or significant other. You will carry the fear of losing your child while pregnant, but the fact is you can lose them when they're a baby, teenager, or grown adult.
I always pray that I will go before both Nathan and my children, because even though I may sport my "brave" necklace, I know I don't have that kind of bravery to make it through something that tragic.
For those people out there that have, I admire your ability to be that strong.
Even though our ttc journey with C and with trying for a second child has never been easy or what we expected it has made us stronger for the hoops we have had to hurdle.
So if grabbing a necklace gives me some peace or comfort during this whole process, then the necklace will be worn.
Hopefully one day there will be more charms with different initials dangling from the chain. But until now C is holding every one's place and keeping my heart full of joy.
What's your thing?
